What do you most want for your family's future?
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LOTS of spaceships, zap guns and hot alien women. I know Redhead Girl will eventually come round to the idea of the hot alien women. Or possibly stab me in the eyes. Its a close call, but I'm ever the optimst.
Just because he's cool!
You know, there are a lot of sites, blogs, etc that whilst supposedly there for your amusement and entertainment are actually devil sperm trying to enter your brain via your eye-balls and then lay tumorous eggs in your frontal lobes.
I don't just mean things like the latest Perez Hilton blog about Paris Hilton. No I am thinking about the more insidious ones. They are subtle and difficult to spot at first.
One such site is the blog of the Dilbert creator guy, Scott. I read it for some months about a year ago before I realised that actually he's not what I would call a nice guy. I mean I have never met him and I would guess he's actually a decent enough person and he'd probably be very polite and entertaining company, because really some of his cartoons are very funny. But as a blogger, basically over time you realise he's kind of subtly (or not so subtly) telling your brain everything sucks and you're kind of too stupid to figure it out...you'll just have to live with your own inadequacy. Forever. And happiness (for you anyway) is really just having a job. Possibly in a cubicle.
Overall, it leaves a veneer of oil in your mind. It's like having sex with an ugly unwashed girl because you were drunk...you try to tell yourself that's just life...but really you know it's not really. Something is wrong with this picture.
Another one is the cracked site. Sure it's funny. Sometimes. But after a while, the voice in your head representing the cracked writer/s always sounds the same. Kind of like a captain James T. Kirk (the original, not the new kid) on crack. You know!!!
With..THE!! Inappropriate drama!! All!! Over the fucking place!!! With added scent of plagiarism!! And glaring inaccuracies thrown in as a bonus.
That screaming voiceover is enough to give you a headache if you read several articles in a row. Try it if you don't believe me.
Now, my own blog is often a detailed description of how badly I think of Earthlings and how I hope to one day soon annex your planet and turn you all into my pets/sex-slaves/commodities to be traded to other intelligent alien races, however I believe underlying all of this, the smarter among your primitive peoples will note the actually contrarian undertone.
That is, the deeper positive vibe. You should (not always just generally) hopefully feel better after reading my posts, not worse. At least about my chances to annex Earth if nothing else. And thus possibly your chances of being if not my personal sex-slave, possibly the sex-slave of a sexy multi-tentacled being from Betelgeuse-9. Who wouldn't want that deep down?
This however brings me to a sad but necessary point.
Would you all please fucking stop "mourning" the dead fucking pedophile that also apparently long ago also did some music stuff?
For fuck's sakes people, get your priorities right. There is no such thing as a "musical genius" that also fucks kids on the side. That is NOT the right way round to think about it!
Pedophile = Pedophile = Pedophile
It's not like say: Chef ----> Good person -----> Likes Horse Riding
If somewhere in there is the item "Likes to fuck small children" then there isn't anything else. Not as far as I am concerned anyway. And anyone that disagrees with me can join that sick fuck in the gold coffin for my money.
And Micheal Jackson fans can all kiss my ass. Kid fucking is NOT excusable. Not for him, not for Sai Baba, not for anyone.
Fuck Micheal Jackson and all other pedophiles too. With a Humvee.
Now I hope you're getting the message here. This is a positive post. Because fucking pedophiles with humvees might be grim work, but somehow it's also just inspiring isn't it?
UPDATE: Provided (unprompted and totally coincidentally which is even cooler), by a sweet, sexy, blonde friend of mine. Thank you for the picture Natalie.
The Jackson Five
And good riddance.
Just too neat. Watch it.
Some of you may know that my little brother is basically a semi-pro poker player. He started for fun but essentially now keeps a record of his games and how he does money-wise and so far he's got a lot more than he's lost. He's paid for holidays with his wife, her laser eye-surgery and other things like trips or sometimes even just groceries when his regular work wasn't doing so well, by winning at poker.
Those of you that know old paper and pencil RPGs (Toe-to-Knee, that means you!) will know (if you have any religion at all) the classic Traveller way of noting skills. And recall that Level - III in anything essentially qualified you to be a professional that could make a living at the skill in question. I think my little brother has just gone from Gambler - III to Gambler - IV. And with any luck at all he may soon become Gambler - V in the game of Poker.
Here's a picture of us and Jabba the Hutt, taken by our sister last year in Egypt.
In true Traveller style we also have both had interesting and well-travelled lives, either of which would be interesting enough to fill at least one book if not a couple of them, and if recounted by him in person, one thing I can guarantee with absolute certainty is that you would piss yourself laughing listening to any story he might tell.
Although extremely close we went to different countries and had relatively different lives after I reached the age of 16 or so when I basically left home. We tend to have mostly different pursuits and interests yet we remain, along with our little sister, the closest of siblings.
His interest in gambling has been going on several years and it's a skill he developed quite unlike anyone else I know who delved into this field. Mainly he's not had to spend lots of cash to learn his lessons. Or in gambler parlance, my brother is possibly the only gambler I know that is definitely in the money if you add up all his wins and losses.
He truely does treat it like a skill and his "addiction" to gambling, if it could be even called that is to developing his skill so as to remain and continue to increase his overall "in the money" position. He is not so much addicted to gambling per se at all, as he is to making sure he continues to win both short and (especially) long term. It is the difference between being an addict and a professional skilled player in my opinion and I am not just baffled by, but respect immensely his ability to be so disciplined with this pursuit of his.
To me it would feel like work, (I'd be a terrible gambler) but to him it's enjoyable as well as profitable. Well, the other day he went to his local casino on an off night for him, that is a day he thought he shouldn't even go and lo and behold there was a game starting up where entry was just 500 bucks* the prize was pretty good...and so...he entered. And totally won it!
The Prize was a three day trip to the Royal Swazi Hotel in Swaziland.
Rooms to this place are R 2300 per person per room, and he won the whole trip for himself and a partner, but wait.. it doesn't end there. Included with the prize is also the trip there which will be in a party bus with complementary booze, which knowing my brother and other poker players in general could be worth a serious amount of cash in itself, but best of all, he also won entry to a freezeout tournament** worth R 10,000.
There should also be only 90 players I believe almost all of which had to actually buy their entry tickets.
Payouts will be for the top 9 players and the top prize will be somewhere between R 250 000 and R 300 000. Which would be enough money to definitely change a few things in his life.
So he's basically already won a prize worth about R 25 000 no matter how he does and of course... yeah!
Here's hoping my little brother kicks ass in that competition and wins a shitload of money. You go bro!!!
If we can't find that Scout ship or come by it honestly we're just going to have to buy a beaten up old ex-belter one, with dirty cash money from your gambling games and my byzantine power-plays or you know...you're just going to have to win one at a game of poker!
PS: Anyone that reads this and doesn't send honestly good vibes toward my little brother will have their unconscious part of their psyche microwaved in their sleep by telephatic Martian mind rays that will reduce you to a Depends wearing gibbering, drooling moron, festering with bed-sores. Just thought you should know, cause it's kinda set on automatic.
* The South Africa currency is Rands which are about R7 for 1$ but in practical, real life terms, what you can do in South Africa for about R 1,000 is not so different from what you could probably do in the US for about $ 400 or so or in the UK for about £ 250 or so.
** For the non-gamblers amongst you, a freezeout tournament is one where if you get blown out of a game you are out of the competition and cannot just re-buy your way in. Sadly in professional poker, they have different types of games, some of these allow unlimeted re-buys, which essentially means that the player with the most money to spend often wins as opposed to the best player. My brother excels at the freezout games because he uses his skill to win, not re-buys, so this is an ideal tournament for him.
