I got this in my inbox and I have to say it's pretty accurate in many respects. No doubt some will take it as being the product of a "racist", personally I think that overall it makes a valid point. I also like his little challenge at the end.
One last point, the mail was signed complete with name, telephone number and company address. I did not include it here simply because the cahin of forwards was rather extensive and ultimately I am not sure the guy who seemed to be the author of it really was, but if it is (and it looked at least likely) I have to also add points for being honest enough to not do it anonymously. If it is the guy who seems to be the creator of it he's also not a chav as his position is that of an Electrical Lead Design Engineer, so the image of a Saf-London Chav arguing about "our jobs" is in my mind at least, replaced witht hat of a rather logical enginner type with an empty tank on the patience meter.
***
Now here's a thought . . . . If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, try this:
a.. Go to Pakistan , Afghanistan or Iraq illegally.
Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense.
b.. Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.
c.. Demand that all nurses and doctors be fluent in English, and that all food be cooked according to your special specifications in the hospital.
d. Demand free local government forms, bulletins, etc. be printed in English.
e.. Procreate abundantly.
f.. Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behaviour with, 'It is a cultural thing; you wouldn't understand.'
g.. Keep your original identity strong. Fly your previous country's national flag from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window, or on your car bumper.
h.. Speak only English at home and in public, and make sure that your children do likewise.
i.. Demand classes on English culture in the Muslim school system.
j.. Demand a local country driver license or national insurance number equivalent
k.. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimise your unauthorised, illegal, presence in Pakistan , Afghanistan or Iraq
l.. Drive around with no motor, tax or insurance and ignore local traffic laws.
m.. Insist that local country law enforcement teaches English to all its officers..
n.. Organise protest marches against your host country, inciting violence against non-white, non-Christians, and the government that let you in.
Good luck! You'll soon be dead.
It would never happen in Pakistan , Afghanistan or Iraq (or any other country in the world for that matter) except in the UK , US, Canada or Australia , because we are run by soft, politically correct politicians that are too scared to 'offend' anyone.
If you agree, pass it on.
If you don't, go ahead and try the above in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq.
My trip to the Emerald Isle was actually great fun. It was even better than I imagined it would be.
It didn't start out that way apparently, due to me being somewhat exhausted and Redhead Girl setting off every anti-terrorist counter-measure at Stanstead airport (they bomb-checked a shit load of her make-up and wet-wipes).
Apparently Redhead Girl also hates border/security/control-check-point people and the whole process. She was so pissed I made a comment (unwisely I suppose) about the lady just doing her job and this pissed her off even more, so I left the area while they beat her with batons and tasers for a half-hour or so and went to find a place to sit down and eat. By the time Redhead girl re-joined me she was her happy self again and the taser scars could hardly be seen.
I have travelled all-over since the age of 4 so I understand her natural hatred of such bullshit processes, however I got over the whole border thing by about age 16, because from age 4 or so my brother and I were used to our parent's car being stopped at gunpoint at every road-block in Nigeria, which underwent a coup at the time we lived there. Obnoxiously rude border control freaks after that were just entertainment. And honestly, European ones hardly stand a chance after you get used to African ones.*
We ate at a "restaurant" at the airport, the Frankie one. Redhead Girl had a thin cardboard with some melted yellow plastic on it and sparse varicose veins on it. While I had the "beer battered" fish-flavoured flakes trapped in a crustacean shell of fried sweat and sawdust, accompanied by surrender-monkey fries marinated in ass cracks.** This dinner made us board the plane with renewed vigour.***
Then we finally arrived in Ireland after a very short flight. Honestly, the whole getting to and going through the airport thing takes about 4 hours and the flight is about one hour. And then on the other side we were met by this:
Now that is just the last 70 meters before the passport control. The same sort of scene stretched out behind us as far as the eye could see. And we were lucky because both Redhead Girl and I are kind of impatient and walk fast and navigate our way through crowds quite quickly. Basically for about 45 minutes we were crammed into this obscenely long corridor with what I conservatively estimated to be at least another few thousand people (minimum 2000 that I could actually see, so probably a lot more than that) in partial darkness. Very sexy. Right up there with the airport "meal".
After this however, the rest was all great. our hotel was very cool and the next day was a bright and sunny one and I went off to meet Peter Slattery who is doing some of the coolest research on Martial Arts this side of a James Bond film. He's been busy working on his Phd for the last 4 years, and using some amazing hardware that tracks eyesight which is about as cutting edge as you can go at the moment in terms of what it can do.
I am however sworn to secrecy because he still has to finish his thesis and I was filmed as a test subject for a part of it he needs in order to do his actual research on various disciples of the arts he is looking at. And explaining too much about it may compromise his experiments so I am (frustratingly, but very understandably) not going to be able to tell you any more on it. Except it is and was supercool and that his research has huge implications and they will probably be busy analyzing all the data for the next decade. It truly is a foundation level study he is doing so it's bound to become a solid cornerstone of future research. He has very kindly also allowed me to be kept in the loop and he will keep me abreast of developments. In return I am now trying to secure for him a group of very top-level martial artists that will hopefully help his research have the level of ability in terms of martial arts that will hopefully add a layer of clarity to his work.
The implications of his work are potentially huge for so many reasons, not least of which would be the training of martial artists as well as some neurological and cognitive studies, particularly in relation to Martial Arts, but applicable to many other disciplines.
I'm afraid though the details of this part of my trip which was basically all of Saturday, are currently ninja-level-classified. Which is too bad, because man I wish I could tell you about all the 007-like aspects of it. But it will be at least a year before I can write you a full report on that so don't hold your breath.
On returning to the hotel we had a really cool dinner and a really interesting philosophical conversation on human sexuality and eventually went to bed. Sunday was not as bright and it rained during the day, but we had great fun in going to see the Book of Kells which was really interesting and weird and cool all rolled into one. And then Redhead Girl and I basically met the priest by whom I would wish to be married if I ever marry again. Yes he actually is an ordained Reverend and can legally marry people. He's also one of the coolest guys I ever met. Definitely doing his thing his way and not giving a fuck what anyone thinks of it. And he's doing really well. This random meeting of him was just so coincidental it was surreal. And Redhead Girl is apparently really shy, so I had to call him out to get her to take a picture with him, which she was really shy about, but really had fun taking so I'm glad I insisted. Really she had no chance of refusing between shy little old me and the wallflower priest guy...
He had a whole entourage of promoters and even a film camera crew which got a close-up of me as I was gently dragging Redhead Girl over to him for a picture. Everyone was laughing and it was a really cool moment. Go check the link on the word priest above to see him sing one of his little ditties. You just gotta love this guy, with lyrics like:
I like chicks and be-eer
the homophobes say I'm queer, but I like...
chicks and bee-eer
How could you not like him? I swear if I ever do get married again this guy is definitely on the list of people I would consider for the cerimony. And so far he's the only guy on that list so his odds are pretty good so far.
We then walked around and took in some other sights including this one which we are not sure what it was, I tried to convince Redhead girl it was a center for Taoist Research and they had just fucked up the spelling twice, because hey, we're in Ireland and it would make sense, but she didn't buy it really.
We then had dinner and caught a taxi to the airport, and talking to the taxi driver was so funny I left him a 5 Euro tip on a 10 Euro charge. He charged us less than the bus would have to take us there and we were the only two people who went for it.
Everyone else at the bus stop seemed to be scared it was a scam, which is the first thing he said to us when we got in and I replied with, well, hell, I'm a pretty big guy and not too scared of being raped by a cabbie, especially since given Redhead Girl was with me he'd presumably rape her rather than me.
He replied with no, no... no rape, all the sex and the love was all included in the trip, so we clicked right away and had a quick chat that covered my 007 reason for the trip, Ireland being a nation of friendly, happy, functional alcoholics, with a government to match, Guantanamo Bay prisoners soon to arrive to Ireland (as I don't read newspapers or watch news on TV I did not know this. I knew about the shutting down of Guantanamo Bay over the next year but I thought he was joking when he said the released prisoners would come to Ireland.) We discussed Obama as well. George Bush and the clip of his retarted sayings that has been put together all over the internet - which is hilarious by the way - and he educated me on Guinness and the millenium time-clock that was built for the year 2000 that was located under the water in the river Liffey and would print the exact time and date (with seconds) that you were on the bridge under which this millenium clock was placed. Except it only lasted a week because it wasn't waterproof.
I know. It sounds like a joke. But it's all true. Much like the Guantanamo Bay guys moving to Ireland soon. I mean considering they are probably hallucinating as it is due to the years of mental torture, will they even know they are out when they land in Ireland? This country is hilarious and weirdly funny to the point they might just think they are just having an extended hallucinatory episode. Especially if they are introduced to Guinness.
Which by the way as I correctly surmised and confirmed by checking with the taxi driver it is indeed considered sacrilegious to drink with blackcurrant (which is the only way I can stomach the bitter tasting fluid). He also told me the book of Kells was not Irish at all but Scottish.
If you are wondering about how in hell we covered so much conversation (and we did actually go into some depth on some of these points) in a drive that was no longer than 10 minutes tops, all I can say is that it was due to a time-lapsed anomaly in the space-time continuum. It is an anomaly everywhere else, but in Ireland it's normal. Time warps radically in your favour in this country, so I think I'll definitely be back to it soon. Besides, more extremely cool Q-type of technology tests are to be done and the Russians are now interested in taking more extensive part in Peter's research, so how could I say no? Time-warps, Martial Arts and cool almost secret research on combat arts. Not to mention that Redhead Girl and I had an amazing time together. This girl just keeps surprising me. We laughed and had so much fun together that it was definitely one of the best trips I have had in my life.
I have lots of other stuff to tell you but it will have to wait for when I have more time to post. For now, I leave you with this picture I took of Jesus in a box on O'Connell Street in the center of Dublin just before heading off to the airport.
* Those of you reading implied racism in this sentence can just kiss my ass. Travel through Africa and go through a few border posts of a few African nations, then come back here and apologise for your ignorant thoughts. Oh and don't pick pussy countries that have things like easily available modern technology like mobile phones or clean running water.
** She had a "margherita pizza" and I had the "beer-battered fish and chips". God alone knows why every "restaurant" at every airport on the planet must be managed by syphilitic orangu-tangs on crack, but such seems to be the case. Or at least they employ syphilitic orangu-tangs on crack as chefs. It must be an airport code.
*** After that "meal" the plane falling out of the sky in a ball of flesh-eating flames seemed like sweet release really.
It says "Parish Plays Golf like a girl".
I'm guessing from the name that Parish probably is a girl. Otherwise I think Parish probably had bigger problems growing up than his effeminate golf swing...
This was just too funny to not post. I wish my Russian was better to understand what he says afterwards cause it sounds like it was funny judging by the crowd reaction.
(PS: I suspect Mexid was at the conference!)
So Redhead Girl and I are going to Ireland this week-end because a guy who is doing a Phd in peripheral vision as it applies to Martial Arts contacted me and asked me if I was willing to be filmed while moving for his thesis, as he is doing the research on a number of martial arts.
He very kindly also paid for my tickets, hotel and transfer fees, so I could hardly say no. Besides he sounds like an interesting guy and his project sounds cool. A friend of mine who just returned from vacation e-mailed me and asked me what's new so I told her this bit of news adding it paid off being a ninja sometimes. To which she replied that "Ninjas are hot!" and sent me this link saying it was (and I quote): "hi-fucking-larious!"
So without further ado....I present to you my latest viral meme:
Catching the boat in the rain, but I like this kind of light...
And the message on the other side of the trip: It reads: Zak Luvs Gary XXX
It's a funny little bonus to our trip to see what new message they put up from time to time.
Now as you guys know, my concept of all things political is simply to annex your entire planet for my own purposes, failing that however, this guy is the only one I have come accross that explains all of politics, pretty much forever in as clear and true a fashion as I have ever found. The fact it only takes up 8 pages of A4 paper with large font type is nothing short of miraculous to my mind. The simplicity of it and the clear truth of it makes relativity theory's E=mc2 seem like a crude cave scratching. Moreso because it relates to the human condition as opposed to more easily conceptualised laws of physics.
Despite all of the above, it is clear that your vile, pestilent human politics had in fact entered the pristine realm of my mind. This became clear to me in a rather distressing (but no doubt amusing) fashion to me on the morning of the elections. Here in the UK the winner would be announced first thing in the morning as the US election went on through our night time. Despite this being a world-covered event, being a Martian I thought I was safely immune to the parasitic meme of having to worry or indeed even think about the whole who-the-next-president-of-the-USA-would-be thing. I went to bed like any other day, unconcerned with world politics. Or so I thought.
In the morning I wake first this time. At the time I had only just begun to see Redhead Girl, but part of her endearing herself to me is that she has my same approach to most things sexual. It's kind and surprising. Besides it's early morning and as we're both light sleepers my moving around would wake her up. So it's only fair I wake her up gently this time. And now gentle readers....I want to give you an approximation of what happened in my head as I was still gently waking even as I gently woke Redhead Girl with a rather extended kiss. To get the full effect you will have to scroll down rapidly.
That's right readers.... Right in the middle of saying good morning to one of the favourite parts of Readhead Girl's anatomy I got a flash of McCain's and Obama's faces. If I weren't a man of uncommonly strong will, a traumatic event like that might put you off sex for life! It really was traumatic. I think it was my subconscious' way of making sure I finally paid some attention to goddamn politicians. You know more than I give to beggars anyway.
Later in the bathroom, while I was shaving and Redhead Girl getting out of the shower it just came out of my mouth unfiltered: "You know babe, if that white guy won we're fucked"
She just looked at me funny but made no comment. Maybe I look Martian Red to her too and not white.
Anyway we now all know Obama won. Whether he'll do anything good or not remains to be seen. Let's see if he shuts down Camp X-ray within a couple of weeks like he said he would. I'd say that would be a good first test.
I hope he does get a lot of shit sorted out....it will make for a nicer and neater little package planet to hand over to my Martian brethren after I have conquered it.
Apparently it was on the radio this morning according to my little sister that scientists are finally admitting there was life on Mars and they even mentioned the Face on Mars as being similar to an Egyptian Queen's features.*
And she also suggested I release a new print of the book I wrote way back in 1995 with a new page in the front that says in big inch high letters:
I TOLD YOU SO!
I WAS RIGHT!
I think it's a classy idea so I may just have to do it, and you guys are getting a preview of that here. Let me know how many boxes of these books with my signature and personalised message on it you are willing to buy. They will all be worth even more when it's finally proved I really am a Martian... go on...place your orders now.
But yeah, in a way it is a good feeling, especially because although I was not the first to have written about the Face, I was indeed the first who put all the elements together that figured out what actually happened on Mars long ago, and at least to some extent, how that happened. The technology they had and how they destroyed themselves with it. And not because I "channeled" the information, but because the factual, demonstrable, physical evidence points to it.
As well as explained some of the links to stuff we still have here on Earth. So yes. I DID get there first.
And yes, it was a little upsetting** when people like Graham Hancock, who being a journalist called me up on the phone shortly after my book was out, asked me if I'd mail him a copy, which I did out of courtesy, and then he went on to basically take my ideas and reproduce them as though they were his own in his "own" book about Mars.
I did have the personal satisfaction of facing him after a presentation he gave in South Africa and telling him:
"Graham, you should really give a little bit more credit when you use other people's work." and see him emotionally backpedalling and snivelling as he "explained" how it was not him...he had a ghost writer, it wasn't his doing and by the time it was all done he didn't know...and...and...and...errr....pprrrrrrrrttttt.
Journalists.
One can't expect anything different from them really. In some ways even more disturbing has been the behaviour that the professional scientists have had. There are really only a handful of true scientists that have looked at this structure and its related ones in really true scientific fashion and extremely good detail. Privately I have had at least two of them admit to me that after reading my book they were inspired, it changed their views and moved them. As a result, some of them have gone on to add to, revise and in some cases repeat the very same points I made before them. And whilst they are meticulous in referencing all the peer reviewed literature, not so much as a sideline mention of where all this inspiration for the additional research came from. Or indeed where some of that same research was done before. And it's not because my own work is not throughly referenced. I don't care where it was from if I used something that did not originate in my own mind to begin with wherever and whenever possible I always credited the original source. Sometimes I couldn't track down who that was but even then I tried to at least admit it wasn't mine.
To me it's just common courtesy and intellectual honesty. In reality I am not all that bothered by the plagiarism from a practical point of view and so on. Those people are weak souls the way I see it. Scummy and smelly to be sure, but still just weak, so I can't really get upset about their petty behaviour. To me the important thing is I figured all this stuff out first. I dropped history as a kid because it bored me to tears but I still think I figured out a hell of a lot more about the true history of the human race than anyone else I know. And in the case of Hancock at least, even after he half-plagiarised my book, he STILL gets it wrong and hasn't figured out the big picture. Which leads me to another speculative argument. Did you ever notice how people's names sometimes are just so close to telling you something meaningful about them?
Take my name, and the meaning of it is: "God adds Philosophy/Love/Friendship"
Giuseppe (God Adds, from the Hebrew Yusef) Filotto (From the Greek root Philos - Love/Friend and philosopher etymologically means lover of history/friendship or story between friends).
While Graham means gravel area or grey homestead and his surname really seems to have little explanation other than it may possibly be related to poultry as in chicken. But in reality is just one letter away from Wanker.
So yeah. God adds Love/Friendship vs. Grey (Chicken) Wanker. I like that. Go ahead and sue me for libel if you want chicken boy.***
*She must have been one ugly bitch based on the recent pictures of this formation.
**He barely even referenced my book in his own. I think mostly to make it more difficult to sue him for plagiarism, which is notoriously difficult to do anyway and in any case, not something I was gong to do regarding this. The satisfaction of being able to sense the value of the "man" face to face was really all I needed to put me at peace regarding this whole thing.
*** Those of you who know me in real life or who follow this blog regularly will probably realise I am really not harbouring any bitterness or resentment over these points. When the movie Red planet came out my brother was on to me for months about suing them for not crediting my work or giving me money. Personally I was actually just happy the information was getting out there and honestly, given what I know of morphogentic fields, thanks to Rupert Sheldrake, I wasn't sure that the people who made that film had ever even heard of me or read my book at all, though certainly a lot of media people did know something about it for a time as I was on TV in the USA, UK and I was told my book even appeared briefly on CNN at least once, though I never saw it myself. What pissed me off about Graham was that it was personal. He had spoken to me directly and read my book (which I sent him for free by the way, the cheap fuck) and then he used it and never even bothered to give credit appropriately. It's just scummy behaviour and it was this mostly I objected to. I don't give a fuck about the money he made due to better marketing, acess to media outlets or whatever. He's welcome to it and may he earn lots more, after all he needs all the cash he can get what with having such a shitty soul he could use all the distractions money can buy. I objected to his intellectual dishonesty in pretending it was his idea when in reality it was mine. The point he credited me on had nothing to do with the central idea of my book, but rather was a credit for a fact that any half-assed researcher could find even then in the pre-google days in about 10 minutes in a library. Whilst he made the central theme of what happened to Mars identical to my own in most important respects while even using some of the same language and similar title headings. I don't even mind you copying my shit man, but at least be honest about it not being yours. Fuck I don't care if you reproduce a good chunk of my book verbatim in your own and make millions as long as you give credit.
So yeah. Let's get right what pissed me off about the Grey Wanker. It was the intellectual dishonesty. It's what pisses me off about most humans incidentally though, so no surprises there really.
My Russkie friend who's in banking told me the current joke in the banking world is that the whole economic crisis was caused by people giving morgages to ninjas.
N.I.N.J.A. - No Income, No Job or Assets
Plus, we all know ninjas are invisible, so they can't even find them anymore presumably.
***
Also, the other day Redhead Girl and I went to dinner near home and she'd just bought a new jacket she wanted to try on and by the time we got ready to go out, we realised we had pretty similar looking, modern ninja outfits, so we took a pic and then it looked even more like we were ninjas because Redhead girl has big eyes and mouth, just like hot manga girls.* Besides, I know the curiosity of some of the readers is virulent. And that's not even counting the stalkers.
So here you are:
I think our ninja suits/jackets are cool. Hers has more zips and straps, giving it a slight S&M/Dominatrix feel, but mine has a hood with integrated snow-goggles. If it only had laser range-finders in those goggles and was bullet-proof then it would be the one jacket I could not live without!
*Apparently I have a fetish trait here. The little Russian girl I was with intermittently when she was in the UK was the first that somehow figured out what girls I am attracted to. She was quite supernatural in knowing just how much I would be attracted to a girl based purely on her looks. Still...I thought it might have been just a real strong coincidence, after all, I am pretty elitist and hot girls are kind of...well...all hot right? Well, I think that may not explain it all though since both my brother and sister had the same reaction when they first saw a picture of Redhead Girl. I think my brother's comment was "What the hell...does he only like girls that look like mangas?!?!" Yeah. We're all subtle like that in my family. We're all subtle, secret ninjas.
Hold on to our keyboards readers cause I have a small flurry of posts coming. Work is a bit slow so I may have a little more time to post a few things. I usually have about 20 a day I never get a chance to tell you about.
So here's the first one.
I take this ferry for part of my trip to work. Partly because I hate the tube more and more as it's getting more and more crowded and mostly because my travel expenses are paid for, but also because it's a cool way to go to work.
Anyway the picture below was taken while getting off the boat at Embankment.
The next day on the same board it had a message for Keith Knight I think, saying he enjoys young boys. I didn't manage to get a picture of that one because my dying phone switched off on me at the critical moment.
Weirdly enough I wasn't the only person to notice even though the board is not all that prominently displayed, there was another guy trying to take a picture of it too. Anyway, I think it's safe to say there are a couple of guys who don't like each other much working for Thames Clippers.
And now, after that disturbing message I leave instead with a more wholesome image of the Tower of London, which I go past every morning on my trip.
