The Ideal Woman (Part II) - Pornstars!
After some thought (and more women) I have been able to condense the long version into an easily understood version.
For me the Ideal Woman happens this way:
1. She must stop me in my tracks visually. Literally.*
2. She must be able (and more importantly willingly enthusiastic) to have porn-star sex with me.
3. I must actually get along with her personality-wise and intelligence-wise.**
4. That je ne sais quoi that makes me click with her and her with me so that we basically become symbiotic.
They should also probably happen in that order too. I mean getting to know someone quite well can take a while...and the last thing you want to do is spend weeks getting to know her well only to find out when you're both naked that she thinks blowjobs are disgusting, or to be done only on special occassions, sex as a whole should only be done twice a week and anal sex is unchristian and will make you go to hell.
This of course puts me in a bit of a paradox. After all the number of women that stop me in my tracks is really tiny. I've been spoilt in the past I guess (yes I know...tragic isn't it - BWAHAHAHAHA!)
And having porn-star sex with them before I really enquire about their name, hobbies, life plans etc...well, let's just say that the chances of success if you walk up to a hot woman and say "Fancy a quickie in the nearest dark corner of this department store?" are pretty slim.
Add that to the fact that the really hot ones are really few and you're down to single figures in a city of some 10 million. And those ones are probably on crack or have razor blades in their mouths (or other orefices). Neither thing is good.
And then I want them smart. This is where it becomes clear to me I am from another planet. Male Earthlings have no problem agreeing with me on points 1 and 2 but generally they really are not fussy about point 3.
I am. All these points are severely important to me.
As for that mystic click. Who the hell knows. I seem to only get it when they are severly brain damaged in some weird way.
As you can see the list of requirements is set out for the most efficient way (time-wise) to figure out if any given girl is The One.
In keeping with this time-saving philosophy though it would seem that the only reasonable thing to do is to date porn-stars.
I mean think about it...
Proportionally the number of them that are really hot is high.
You get to see what they look like. In detail. And that's before you even say "Hi".
You get to see what they can do in bed. And if you're any judge of character maybe also figure out if they are really just going through the motions and are completely numbed by drugs through their work-day, or if they are at least vivacious enough to inject some artistry in their chosen profession.
Besides, some of them might have interviews on-line which might give an indication of their IQ as well. Admittedly you'd probably want to go for a video interview on this one...what with their personal web-pages probably not being really you know...(gasp) genuine.
So it just leaves the question of the mystic click.
Oh yeah and you know, getting to meet them in order to propose and all that without having to go to a porn-star convention.
* I happen to think this first impact, at least for me, includes an element of thin slicing on my part so it's actually more than just her looks but most average Earthlings wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
** Ignorance doesn't particularly disturb me as it's curable. Stupidity however is pretty much a non-starter for me.
Comments
I had a conversation with a female friend this morning and we were discussing MY requirements! And I said:
1. HOT
2. SMART
3. SWEET
and they have to go in that order because fat doesn't cut it, and intelligence is a must (because my IQ is!), but SWeeT should follow the rest and what makes the final cut is their sweetness value, the character of their soul.
my last lovers was considerably younger than myself.
he was 29 year old and was SWEET as butter - but dumb as a door nail. AND he fucked me like a porn star. That's important too. ah but I got bored fast. What do you talk about lying in bed after several hours of love? I didn't even want to take pictures of him.
So I ask men all the time, is intelligence important? Most say NO. I don't get it? You are the first to say intelligence is important. There are always fine lines to draw and marks in the sand that can or cannot be crossed. beauty, smarts and sex is what feeds us all.
but at least you admit you want a porn star too, and in reality, far are that bright save for a few, and even then. I want the allusive whole as well and it's very hard to find. even for a woman. and I'm not going to settle.
Brain power is very exciting to me. It was possibly this that first made me realise I was obviously dropped off on this planet by Martians (I suspect Venetian style politics to keep me from my right by birth of being Emperor. Just saying...). It came about when I was about 15 and my father (human charged with my entrapment on this crappy planet without hot looking telepathic blue skinned nymphomaniacs) asked me what type of girl I liked and why I didn't have a girlfriend.
I refrained from pointing out that as my "gatekeeper" he had chosen to move our whole family out to a desertic shithole that was as close to the planet Tatooine as it's possible to get on this little Terra. Where the ratio of females to males in the highschool was roughly 1 to 3 and the ration of hot females to males was about 1 to 10,000 and that included the slutty (and quite hot) English teacher. And with a population of only 300,000 people, once you removed the aged, children, the infirm, men and ugly women/girls you were left with about 6 girls. Whom everyone AND his dad hit on. Which would lead me to another sick story, but I digress...
His obvious concern of having to look after a gay Martian was clear and I tried to communicate the truth to him by saying basically I wanted a SMART one.
His equally honest reply was: "Oh you poor boy. If you spend your life looking for a smart one you're going to be unhappy all your life."
I knew instinctively he was wrong. Nevertheless I also knew he would not be able to understand nor had I at the time the verbal capacity to express my theory. And certainly not the experience either. Now, many years later, I realise that my caveman theory is something that my Earth guardian never understood. he never figured out the differences between male and female brains. He was always too busy getting distracted by the pussy to bother with the brain I suppose. I don't judge him. Pussies are hypnotic even at the worst of times.
But we Martians are mentally resilient. I now do have the capacity to explain it to him, but I am not really sure he has the capacity to understand anymore.
I wish he did though.
As for wanting a porn star. I know your secret darling. I mean the female secret. You WANT to be fucked like pornstars too. Whether you know it or not and whether you admit it or not. Women love sex just as much if not MORE than men. The myth they do not is just that...a MYTH.
Perpetrated by frustrated beta males that wanted to propagate their genes too. And they did it so well they pretty much wiped out the Alpha males with clubs who fucked all the females before. (and whom the females are still wired to want to be fucked by). Luckily for me there is also a tiny scout class of Alpha males that has an exploration gene as well as the usual survival ones. Or maybe that's just Martians, but there is a tiny subset of men that can move easily within different cultures and adapt quickly to completely different morals and societies and STILL function in them and also get with the alpha females. We don't breed often (at least not openly anyway) hence our survival strategy has to be excellent in order to have duped the big guys with clubs as well as the priests with their mental clubs too.
In fact just explaining this I have put myself in a mood to go look for a hot nun and an altar to desacrate :)
you funny.