Mutant Squirrels and the NHS

If you read my last post I guess after you see the video below you will realise that my friend Peter (not his real name) was not kidding. They obviously release the lab rats that survive into the wild Free Willy style for real.

And then some of them go on to mate, bite or otherwise mutate into "squirrels".

This little guy was sitting there all by himself and not unlike people at speakers' corner obviously having a bit of a rant. Though you can't see it on the video because when I approached he turned around to face me somewhat menacingly, he was addressing the household behind him. In case you are wondering, the freaky squeaky sound is indeed coming from the "squirrel" and that thing in his mouth/paws is the paper cup/holder which muffins come in.

My best guess is that he either was not satisfied with the muffin he'd obviously just eaten or else he really liked it and wanted another one. Then again, maybe he was just trying to tell us how he feels about global warming and the recent banking crisis but he just has't quite evolved the vocal cords to speak proper English yet. Then again maybe they would understand him fully a bit further Saf where they speak propa-like.

Anyway, weird behaviour even for a squirell I think.

As for my friend, they cut out a chunk from his neck, stitched him up and then just to keep him entertained will let him know only in a couple of weeks whether they got it all or if he should start measuring up cheap pine boxes and looking for a little spot at the local cemetry.

I don't care what anyone says; the UK has fourth world medical standards. God help me if I ever had to rely on the NHS for anything. I know I wouldn't make it out alive if it were anything serious. My only hope is that if I had any strength left in me at all at least I would take some of the fucking bastard "doctors" with me. A few jabs with one of their own syringes will no doubt set off a new epidmic of the black death if the hygene of their hospitals is anything to go by.

Every single interaction I had with the NHS has only served to convince me more fully that whilst having enough money may safeguard you from having to come into contact with the useless bastards that gravitate to government work in the first place, the only way to actually motivate and influence such people to become pro-active, functioning members of society is the imminent and very real threat of massive, permanently crippling violence coming their way if they do not activate their frontal lobes to at least Homo Erectus functionality.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure there are one or two nice people that work in the NHS. Possibly. But I can tell you two things about them with certainty:

1. If they really are nice, useful human beings, they will NOT work there for long.

2. I sure as shit haven't met them yet.

I think the solution may be to do the drug testing on NHS employees. It probably will not make them more useful, smarter or efficient, but at least we could stop testing on animlas, and occassionally maybe a few of them would be able to tell me what the squirrel was trying to say.